By: Sandy Stanway | 3 Star Parelli Professional | www.SandyStanway.com
I had studied Parelli Natural Horsemanship for a long time and heard the phrase, “It’s not about the …/trailer, etc.” many times. In reality, I didn’t understand what it meant, and if I am truthful, I disagreed with it. I admit that when I wanted to take my horse somewhere to do something with her, and she wouldn’t go in the trailer, I thought it was definitely about the trailer! I was wrong, but it took me a long time to understand why.
As I have journeyed to become a horseman, I have learned direct line thinking isn’t necessarily the best way to achieve my goals. I also learned when I have an issue, it is seldom about where the problem is showing up.
When I got my current Level Four horse Trinity, she was beyond frightened of loading into the trailer because she was extremely herd-bound. She didn’t want anything to take her away from the safety of her herd. I worked on improving her ability to load into the horse trailer, and she became very good at loading. Unfortunately, this didn’t fix the herd-bound issues and resulting fear of the trailer.
When she was good at loading, I took her for a short trip to a local pony club grounds. When we arrived, I realized she was incredibly right-brain/scared and in no state to do anything I asked. She couldn’t think and struggled to listen to me. I realized I would be lucky if I could get her back on the trailer. I remember thinking for the first time maybe it wasn’t about the trailer.
I started to think the problem might be more deep-seated. Things began to improve when I stopped being so direct line and started thinking more laterally.
I decided to see how many ways I could load her into the trailer to see if that would help. My thinking was if we could learn to trust each other more, things would improve.
I came up with at least 20 ways to load her and started working on them. By the time we could do this, our relationship, communication, and trust were way better. Her confidence had improved significantly, and she viewed me as her leader.
I learned to listen to her, and she learned to listen to me. Finally, I understood it wasn’t about the trailer. It was about us.
This lesson was solidified when the same thing happened with tying. Trinity was terrible with pulling back when I first got her. I knew this had something to do with a broken Porcupine Game but didn’t know how to fix it. Repeating my process with the trailer, I came up with 50 ways to teach Trinity to yield to the porcupine game (steady pressure). This made such a big difference in our communication, trust, and understanding of each other. Again, I learned it wasn’t about tying up. It’s about everything surrounding it—communication, understanding, feel, timing, balance, love, language, and leadership. I started understanding why Pat made the Porcupine Game and the second game.
Now, I look more laterally and think about which games could help if I have a problem with something. I love Pat’s Seven Games. They are simple in concept but not easy, and everything with your horse gets better when you put in the time and effort.
For example, when one of my horses is a bit sluggish when I am riding them and not very responsive, I work on our yo-yo game, equalizing their go and whoa in all situations. (I always make sure we don’t have a physical issue first.) I also address issues in and out of the saddle in many environments and with different energy levels.
I find my horses improve in many areas when I do this, and I enjoy the journey much more.
