Learning How To Ride a Horse - A Beginner’s Guide

By Ralph Moses — 3 Star Parelli Instructor

“Riding is the mere act of not falling off.”  Pat Parelli

I’ve been messing around with horses for almost 40 years, including working at a livery stable taking groups on trail rides, competing professionally in speed events, working with veterans with PTSD, and being an instructor in the Parelli Natural Horsemanship program.  

I won’t say I’ve seen it all, but I have seen a lot!

So what does it take to learn how to ride a horse and not fall off? 

Well, there are many things and here’s just a few: Focus, Feel, Timing, Balance, Rhythm, Relaxation, Confidence, Knowledge, Tools, Techniques, Time, and Support. 

Coincidentally, those are all parts of the “Ten Qualities Of a Horseman” and the “Seven Keys To Success” from the Parelli Natural Horsemanship program and there’s a lot that can be said about each of them.  

So, let’s see if we can make it simple.

Let’s start with Confidence and Relaxation.  Most people have some fear and tension the first time they get on a horse.  And they should—they don’t know what to do or what to expect.  

When a person is afraid, they tend to be bracey throughout their body.  That braciness causes the rider to be out of harmony with the horse when it moves and this leads to stiffness in the saddle and worse.

And that’s why it is so important to learn on the ground first using practice moves and simulations!

Confidence: One of the most important concepts I ever learned is: “Do whatever is necessary to protect your confidence.” 

This means that if you, as a beginning...or even experienced...rider, aren’t 98.6% confident in a situation, don’t do it!  It’s okay to feel a little trepidation, a little concern, but too much and you’ll probably have a problem of some kind.  

Too much fear causes our brain and body to go into survival mode and we cannot think and we absolutely cannot relax.  Should something happen, that fear can cause PTSD to set in, and, once established, PTSD can take years (if ever) to overcome.  I know...I’ve been there.

If a friend, family member, or even an instructor, tells you to do something and you don’t have sufficient confidence and trust---don’t do it!

I tend to play a lot with “Retreat and Approach” for beginning riders.  I look for where the rider carries the brace and get them moving that part so it relaxes.  I want to build confidence so I only ask them to do an exercise for a few seconds—usually starting at three seconds and building over time to carrying it for maybe ten seconds.  

One of the most common braces that beginning riders do is to hold onto the saddle horn.  This might make them FEEL safer but in most cases will eventually cause a problem of some kind.   

I do things like getting them to point first one hand forward, sideways, backwards, and to the ceiling, then the other hand, then both hands.

I’m using distraction and rider focus to change the brace into fluidity in a well-controlled manner.

And then, Ray Hunt said: "If you get unsure, the horse will get unsure. You need to be sure so the horse can be sure."

Simply put, this means your horse mirrors your emotions.  If you’re scared or tense, your horse will be scared or tense.  If you’re sufficiently confident, your horse will mirror that confidence back to you.

Relaxation: To ride fluidly, to be in harmony with a horse’s movements, the rider MUST be relaxed.  

So, how do you get relaxation?  It takes rhythm, balance and feel.  

Many people think that riding is just sitting there and letting the horse do the work.  It’s not!

Riding is an active sport and, according to one source, burns more calories than jogging!  

Like any sport, it takes a lot of practice and physical fitness to develop the reflexes and muscles to have balance and to stay in rhythm (harmony) with your horse.

Besides riding a lot, I often practice riding standing up in the stirrups during my warm up.  To teach this, I first ask a student to cup their hand under the saddle horn and lift, hold that position for ONLY 3 SECONDS, then sit.  Wait about 10-15 seconds, then repeat.  Do this only three times while standing still!  

Over days/weeks, I ask them to hold it for 4, then 5, then 10 seconds.  Then to not use the saddle horn. Then, advance it to a walk, trot, canter over time.  I want them to build balance and stamina gradually.  

And with this comes “Confidence.”  Then, with Confidence, a rider will develop Rhythm and Feel.  

Tools and Techniques: One of the brilliant parts of the Parelli Levels Program is that you can learn to ride on the ground!

When you practice the Levels program games perfectly, you’re teaching your body the gross muscle memory you will need for riding.

Several examples:

1) Yo-yo game: While the yo-yo “send” teaches your horse to back up, the “bring back” (draw) teaches your muscles the beginnings of a backup and walk-trot-walk transitions.

2) Circling game:  The circling game “send” teaches your upper body the Direct Rein.  The “allow” teaches you “active neutral.”  And the “disengage” teaches your upper body Indirect Rein.

Both the “send” and the “disengage” teach your lower body muscles the “eyes, belly button, leg” moves needed for riding.

3) Sideways game:  The sideways game teaches your mind (or focus) and legs to get in harmony with your horse’s forequarters and hindquarters.   Keep in mind that sideways is simply a hindquarter yield then forequarter yield, one step at a time.

Conclusion: 

First, protect your confidence at all costs.  Once lost, it takes a long time to rebuild your confidence, so don’t let anybody or anything damage it.  As you get more practiced, more skilled, your confidence will build day by day!

Second, work on relaxation.  I’ve taken courses in relaxation at local theater groups and through other sources.  Understanding (knowledge) goes a long way towards developing relaxation.  Knowing when to do something (as well as when not) allows you to maintain a high level of relaxation.

Third, master your tools and techniques.  You want to achieve a level of unconscious mastery so that you do things without even thinking about it.  Learning the Parelli Program on the ground first will set both you and your horse up for success and safety riding. 

Fourth, take the time it takes.  We all learn at different rates.  Some people have a lot of natural athleticism.  And some don’t have any!  Like anything you do, whether it’s playing a musical instrument or riding, it takes time and practice.

And, finally, always be kind to your two best friends: Your horse...and yourself!